Visited my GP three times in the last two months. Not because I was ill, I have just had other business to attend to. Yes, even after all the cancer crap, other stuff is still going on!
Haemochromatosis, for instance, I have to keep a check of my Iron levels, making sure they do not get too high. Pap smear, still have to go there as well, luckily we can still locate my Vjayjay...not that it's moved :-) Then there is the bulge! Somewhere between my stomach scar and my Vjayjay (I love that word). The appearance of this bulge had my GP thinking it may have been a hernia. She had sent me off for an Ultra Sound, which found nothing. Personally I think it may be my old belly button trying to escape! She said that things internally will have been moved around a bit & she won't always know where things are anymore!! So I need to speak with my surgeon about the bulge.
Talking with her, we discussed my surgery, I told her that if I had known exactly what I would go through in the short term I may have chosen another form of reconstruction. She agreed that knowing what can happen and what can get moved around internally, she probably would not go through with this surgery herself! She would have had the mastectomy & then had implants at a later stage!
NOW SHE TELLS ME!!
I'm not saying that this surgery was the wrong thing to do, and certainly in the long term I'm sure I will look back and wonder what was I banging on about! Anyone looking at having this procedure should just go in with their eyes open, knowing that muscle is taken from you and will never be replaced. 12 months is a long recovery and I didn't realise how long that would seem, or how frustrating it would be. I have met a woman who is four years post surgery and she is very happy with everything.
So onward I go, about to have new nipples and tattooing. I've secretly always wanted a tattoo. I look forward to my future. I just hope my old belly button doesn't pop out. Having two would just be embarrassing! :-)
I've just caught up on your last two posts, interesting to read how you hadn't fully comprehended what would be involved in surgery and consequent recovery, that doesn't surprise me at all. The shock of something life threatening has the effect of shifting focus and sometimes scattering thoughts. Your blog is an interesting insight into breast cancer & what it actually means to be affected by this dis-ease, I think it's so great that you're sharing & I hope that those who have similar experiences are able to feel less alone and find some solace in your shared experience.
ReplyDeleteThere would have been so much to take in at that time. I think whichever option you chose there would have been negatives and positives. You have been through a lot and it sounds like there is still more to go through. You have done this with grace and humour. That is a real testament to the lovely person you are. xxxx
ReplyDeleteActually I had a response on FB from a GF who is a nurse and said a friend of her's had tissue expanders and implants and she does not like them because they just sit there and she has no strength in her chest or arms. I guess there are problems all round!
ReplyDeleteThanks Annie & Sarah for your comments I love to hear what others think. xo
Oh you poor thing. There is so much involved with this kind of thing that the average person, including me, does not realise. Even the decision-making process. Sending hugs (gentle ones, so I don't hurt you!)
ReplyDeleteYes there is a lot involved & most people think because I look ok & am happy mostly... That I'm all better now! Boy What they don't realise! :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for you comment!
My god you are an amazing woman. There is no room here for doubts and regrets after what you faced, had to weigh up and then hope you made the right choice, when really just looking up through that dark cloud would have been hard enough for most. I sat there one Sat arvo and read your 1st post all the way through to now, I laughed, cried and even found myself staring out into space thinking. Thank you for letting us into your personal life and help us to get a better understanding of where this shit disease can take you. It also helped to get a deeper insight to what my sister went through. Thank you, look forward to your next post. : )
ReplyDeleteAgreed....you are an amazing woman! Amazing because of what you have endured and amazing because of what you are willing to share with us! None of us know what tomorrow may bring and you have chosen to educate the rest of us on the possibilities and for that my friend you have my utmost love, admiration and gratitude!!! I do not know if I could do the same....so thank you for you strength, courage and fortitude! Thank you Thank you and again I say....THANK YOU!
ReplyDeleteOh Neati, glad you read it! I know Trin's journey was very different to mine, but much of the emotions will have been the same. We had such a great catch up & talk about it when she was here! love her so much...
ReplyDeletePatty, perhaps I'm just an "over sharer" :-)
It has been really helpful for me to write this all down. Sometimes embarrassing, but helps me get out my emotions..Thank you all for the lovely comments!
Love your work honey... <3
ReplyDeleteYou are an inspiration. Good luck tomorrow- may your new nipples be perky :)
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