I had been thinking about having a big party to celebrate life, but as I get closer to the event I'm feeling immense sadness which I cannot explain. What I think I really want to do now is spend some time with my girlfriends, have a few drinks & just laugh & gossip the afternoon away.
Most people see me & think I'm over the surgery & am looking well but what they don't realise is that I am covered in scars! Some physical, but mostly emotional......... I know time will heal the physical scars, but I'm not sure how long it will take to heal from the emotional side of this disease. Of course life continues as it does, even after the death of someone we love. We must get on with it, but I often reflect on my life now.
Where I've been, where I am now & where I'm going.................Family & friends are the absolutely only thing that matters in my life now!
A recent pic with my gorgeous girlfriends who spent my last birthday with me! Missing a couple though!
I don't know what the future will bring, I'm hoping travel & lots of fun with family & friends, but I surely know the love of my family has kept me going & will continue to, the rest I'll have to keep you posted on.
recovering from a life-threatening illness still involves a kind of grieving process. while you have no doubt gained some incredible insights, you have also lost that 'presumption' of life. maybe you feel that a big flashy party would be tempting the fates?
ReplyDeleteso many of us are still dreaming of living a 'big' life. your experiences, horrendous as they were, have earned you a key to happiness: that of a small life, well lived. Happy Birthday! xt
Thank you xo
ReplyDelete